Alright, let’s talk about this “absolute stress drink,” whatever that fancy name means. Sounds like somethin’ the city folks drink, but lemme tell ya, we country folks know a thing or two about stress too, even if we don’t have fancy names for it.
So, this drink, they say it’s got vodka in it. Now, vodka, that’s strong stuff. I remember my old man used to say a little vodka could cure just about anything, from a toothache to a bad day at the farm. But he always said, “Don’t go overboard, or you’ll be seein’ double and talkin’ to the chickens!”
Then there’s this coconut rum they put in it. Coconut, huh? Sounds like somethin’ you’d find on them fancy islands they show on TV. I ain’t never seen a real coconut in my life, but I reckon it tastes sweet. Rum, well, that’s another strong one. Mix that with vodka and you got yourself a real kick in the pants, I tell ya.
- They also say there’s some kind of peach schnapps in this drink. Peach? That’s a fruit, ain’t it? We grow apples and pears on the farm, never seen a peach tree though. Schnapps, that sounds like somethin’ them Germans drink. My neighbor, old Mr. Schmidt, he used to make his own schnapps. Whew, that stuff could knock you flat!
- This “absolute stress drink,” sounds like they’re tryin’ to make somethin’ fancy outta just plain old liquor. We ain’t got no time for fancy names around here. If you’re stressed, you just have a drink, plain and simple. No need to gussy it up with all them big words.
They say this drink is “tropical and refreshing.” Well, I reckon if you’re sittin’ on a beach somewhere, sippin’ this thing, it might feel that way. But if you’re out in the fields, workin’ your tail off, you ain’t gonna have time for no fancy tropical drink. You’ll be drinkin’ water or maybe some iced tea if you’re lucky.
And they say one of these drinks is “enough to relieve most stress levels.” Well, I guess that depends on how stressed you are. If you’re just havin’ a bad day, maybe one drink will do the trick. But if you’re dealin’ with somethin’ serious, like a drought or a sick cow, one drink ain’t gonna cut it. You might need a whole bottle… just kiddin’!
Now, they say you gotta mix this drink in a shaker. A shaker? What’s wrong with just pourin’ it all in a glass and stirrin’ it up? We ain’t got no fancy shakers on the farm. We use what we got, and that’s usually a good ol’ glass and a spoon.
They talk about this drink bein’ good for “rest and relaxation.” Well, I ain’t gonna argue with that. A little somethin’ to take the edge off after a long day ain’t a bad thing. But don’t go thinkin’ it’s a cure-all. Stress is just a part of life, whether you’re livin’ in the city or out in the country.
They also mention “absolute stress” bein’ somethin’ serious, like a car crash or seein’ a wild animal. Well, I reckon that’s true. We ain’t got too many car crashes out here in the country, but we do see our fair share of wild animals. Sometimes a raccoon will get into the henhouse, and that’s enough to stress anyone out.
And they say you should stick to light-colored liquors like vodka or rum if you’re stressed. Avoid the dark stuff like whiskey. Well, I always thought whiskey was the drink for tough times, but maybe them city folks know somethin’ we don’t.
So, this “absolute stress drink,” it sounds like a mix of strong liquor and sweet stuff. Probably tastes alright, but I ain’t sure it’s gonna solve all your problems. If you’re stressed, maybe try takin’ a walk in the woods, or sittin’ on the porch and watchin’ the sunset. Sometimes the simplest things are the best medicine.
And remember, drink responsibly. Don’t want you endin’ up like old Jed, wanderin’ around the fields talkin’ to the scarecrows after he had too much of that homemade moonshine. That’s a story for another day though.
Tags: [absolute stress drink, vodka, coconut rum, peach schnapps, cocktail, stress relief, relaxation, mixed drink, liquor]
